Missing Della Jane

October 11th, 2023 Dear Della Jane, I wish I could show you off. You deserve all the attention. One thing that hurts me the most right now, is knowing that when I walk into Target, people don’t see me as your mom. They just see a 20 year old girl. I hate it. I’m not sure why, but I just want people to know that I am your mother. I want people to know you were here. I want them to know that my heart is forever changed. God made me giggle last night. He gave me just what I wanted! After attending a grief support group, dad had me stop at Target for some printer paper. I made it all the way to the office supplies section before I looked down at my shirt. I looked down and started laughing. In big purple letters, my name tag read “Mary, Della’s Mom”. I had forgotten to take my name tag off after the support group. I felt you smiling down on me. God knew I needed that moment of joy.  Daddy and I aren’t able to make memories with you the way we planned. We anticipated you helping us crea...

It was Thursday, September 7. I was 40 weeks four days pregnant with our first child. Since I was overdue, when I went in for my doctor’s appointment that day, they wanted to do an ultrasound to check on the baby and to talk about induction. That afternoon, we got to hear our baby's heartbeat, and we even got to see the baby take practice breaths. Everything looked perfect. An induction was scheduled for the following Thursday. I was so upset. I was uncomfortable. I wanted my baby here. Later that day, I called around to different hospitals and I asked if I could come in for an induction. They all said, because I wasn’t 41 weeks, there was no way they were able to induce me because it wasn’t medically necessary. They assured me my baby was fine. I accepted that and went to bed.  On Friday morning, I woke at 4:17 with awful back pain. At first, I was angry, thinking it was just regular discomfort, vowing, “There’s no way I’m dealing with this for another week!” I was able to fall ba...