Missing Della Jane

I always thought I wanted an aesthetically pleasing Christmas tree. I thought I wanted coordinating ornaments, warm, white lights, and soft, sparkly floral accents. I thought I wanted a neutral tree skirt and matching stockings. But I don’t. I don’t want that at all. Yesterday, when no one was around, I finally mustered up enough courage to hang her ornaments on our tree. Each one gifted to us has so much meaning. It warms my heart to see how many angel wings are on our tree this year. We are so thankful. As I was hanging them up, I couldn’t help but think “ These aren’t the ornaments that I should be hanging up this year.” I wish I was hanging up “Baby's First Christmas” ornaments. I wish she was here to “help me” put them on our tree. Years from now I should be hanging up ugly, handmade ornaments that my preschooler brought home for me. Ones with her messy handwriting all over them. I could totally see her accidentally writing the “D” in Della backwards in typical preschool fashi

Three months, We miss you, Della.  We found out I was pregnant with you in January. I excitedly cleaned out the TJ Maxx, infant Christmas section. After reviewing my purchases, I found out that I am a l huge Rudolph fan! Hahaha.  This season has proven to be a challenging one. I keep thinking of how cute you would’ve been in a snowsuit. I imagine your little head in a little hat with two pom pom “ears” on it. Christmas decorating was equally fun and devastating. As newlyweds, we didn't own many decorations. We decided to go to Hobby Lobby. We filled our car and justified each item by saying “My parents have had ____ for over 20 years!”  My heart ached as we passed by sections of “baby's first Christmas” ornaments. We picked out a photo frame ornament and decided to put your picture in it. To lighten the mood, we started a tradition of picking out funny ornaments for each other. I convinced Dad that you would have loved a set of little bird figurines wearing sweater