Ornaments

I always thought I wanted an aesthetically pleasing Christmas tree. I thought I wanted coordinating ornaments, warm, white lights, and soft, sparkly floral accents. I thought I wanted a neutral tree skirt and matching stockings.

But I don’t. I don’t want that at all.

Yesterday, when no one was around, I finally mustered up enough courage to hang her ornaments on our tree. Each one gifted to us has so much meaning. It warms my heart to see how many angel wings are on our tree this year. We are so thankful.

As I was hanging them up, I couldn’t help but think “ These aren’t the ornaments that I should be hanging up this year.” I wish I was hanging up “Baby's First Christmas” ornaments. I wish she was here to “help me” put them on our tree. Years from now I should be hanging up ugly, handmade ornaments that my preschooler brought home for me. Ones with her messy handwriting all over them. I could totally see her accidentally writing the “D” in Della backwards in typical preschool fashion. Her chubby hands should be hanging up those ornaments year after year. Our tree should be covered with her growing handprints, but for now, our tree is covered in sheep and angel wings. Many of the angels are gifted from friends, family, and clients. You can also see a few homemade lamb ornaments that I made on a day when my grief hit me hard. (I guess grief made me crafty that day lol) 

I always thought I wanted an aesthetically pleasing Christmas tree. The truth is, I would trade those bulbs for “ugly” ornaments any day. 

-Mary